neil-gaiman:

birdartpoetry asked: Mister Gaiman, you’re kickass. I was just wondering, what do you think is the best way to seduce a writer? I figured your answer would be pretty spectacular.

In my experience, writers tend to be really good at the inside of their own heads and imaginary people,…

areasofmyexpertise:

Never forget.

secondverse:

Newt Gingrich was the prototype hipster.

This is a little scary.  Look around you right now my young friends for you may be sitting next to the coolest guy, if he were only transported 40 years into the future.

neil-gaiman:

Dear Sir,

Listen, I know you won’t speak to me but just come over here and let me bend your waxy ear for just a second. Don’t wait for my colleague to come back from lunch so you can ask him about that Green Lantern comic. I work here too. I know I’ve got two tits and Lord knows what else…

positiveape:

Eight-year-olds, Dude.

hilltopsunset:

UPS Supervisor: It’s easiest if you…let’s say you go to grab a beer.
Me: I don’t drink alcohol.
Supervisor: …what?
Me: (shrugs) It’s true.
Supervisor: You don’t…you don’t drink?
Me: Nope. Neither alcohol nor coffee, actually.
Supervisor: (with a stunned look) …do you smoke?
Me: Nope.
Supervisor: Any drugs at all?
Me: Uh-uh.
Supervisor: Not even at parties?
Me: I don’t really go to parties, I guess.
Supervisor: What are you, a saint?
Me: Nah, I don’t believe in God.

strixus:

Pretty much an improvement on Steampunk in all ways.

cthulhuchickwastaken:

toasterlicious:

Really no more or less aerodynamic than the non-flying version.

So, let’s see….first I need a pug…

jamesurbaniak:

J.G. Thirlwell conducts a live orchestral performance of music from “The Venture Brothers.” Greatest thing ever or greatest thing ever?

Excellent!

davidmalki:

It started right here: STEPS 1-3

Four days later, the envelopes arrived. Note the early sign that not all directions were followed exactly:

WHAT IS INSIDE????

Exactly, 100% the opposite of what we asked for. There is a severe lesson here:

THEY’RE ALWAYS OUT TO SCREW WITH US

As a library person I must automatically wonder if there’s a lesson for shipping interlibrary loans.  Perhaps we should all purchase “Please Bend” stamps.